caution: extremely volatile

I want to post, but I can't think of anything. My birthday is in ten days, yo.

This article makes me want to touch myself.

The best part?

On one level, the weirdness of quantum theory isn't a problem at all. The mathematical framework is sound and describes all these bizarre phenomena well. If we humans can't imagine a physical reality that corresponds to our equations, so what? That attitude has been called the "shut up and calculate" interpretation of quantum mechanics. But to others, our difficulties in wrapping our heads around quantum theory hint at greater truths yet to be understood.

Lol, I'm adding 'shut up and calculate' to my interests list.

But honestly? Isn't that so cool? Quantam theory is like the best branch of science to me because it's so perfect: all the math is flawless, yet the answers given defy our most basic concept of time, space and matter. Woo.

But yeah, if you like this stuff at all, check out sciencemag.org and see their article about 125 questions that science is trying desperately to answer. The website only lists 25 of them, but there's some pretty good articles up.

I love stuff. I'm so greedy. I could list like well over 1,000 things that I want really badly right now and honestly not be able to order them by priority. I want everything.

I really could do without love and friendship and all those important things if only I had never experienced them. Having lots of money and being able to do whatever you want with it is very important. At least to me. I think money does buy happiness, to an extent: it's not about what money can buy, it's about what makes you happy. I'm materialistic. I guess I always will be. I'm not ashamed as long as I can provide for myself, which shouldn't be too hard if I end up working for the feds in a lab. Lots of chemists do. Or maybe I'll be an exhibit developer for a big museum or prep schools that would pay a lot of money for me to do demonstrations of chemical reactions and stuff for educational purposes. That might be fun, and selling out a bit less, but I'll have to deal with people. And children. Ew.

It's so easy for me to see what life would have been like if I hadn't made friends. The anthropic principle says that if things weren't set up precisely the way they are (down to a 2% difference in the strong nuclear force), carbon-based life could not exist. It might not apply perfectly to the creation of the universe, but it certainly does to my life. Imagine how different high school would have been if I'd stayed at the Academy. I'd be a very different person, and I don't know if me now would respect alternate-universe me. I guess that's probably pretty irrelevant, but it still amazes me to think of what chance meetings I had with my current friends. It shocks to me to remember what I used to think of them when I first met them, the assumptions I'd made about them that mostly turned out to be wrong. If I had been a little older, or in a bad mood, or if my parents had told me I couldn't go out with them, I'd probably be really really different now. I'd dress differently, I'd listen to different music, I'd be making very different life choices. I'd probably be excited about college.

I don't know whether to be grateful for the way things have turned out, or if that's a ridiculous notion because it's not as if I know any better. One reason that I love getting into physics and all this crap is that it's pretty hard to ignore the evidence for a G-d of some nature. Science only helps you appreciate the wonder and beauty and chaos and mystery of the universe, and reaffirms the fact that it's not only okay not to know something, it's the state of true possibility and open-mindedness. Now if only I could train myself out of seeing everything in black and white...

The time has come to break down the quantam mechanics of our universe in such a way that it is comestible by the average Mun or character.

We need to have a better idea of how our universe works, and with the help of halfdreams, I may just have come up with a tentative theory regarding the construction of our parallel worlds and the meta-space which we pass between.

This journal is in meta-space. Whenever a character is in meta-space, they are able to process knowledge about the existence of the parallel universes, and the grand scheme of their own 'genre', as the muns call them. Muns and characters can co-exist in the meta-space, but when a character leaves the meta-space, they leave all information and memory of it behind them. Meta-space is a common ground that both characters and Muns have access to. A character can only be 'meta' when they are within the meta-space.

Think of your entire existence: your personality, your friends, and the timeline of your life so far as a marble. Everytime your Mun creates a new timeline for your life, in which the why and how aspects of your life are altered, a new 'marble' is created. That is the sphere of your existence. It is one possible timeline, one possible series of events that is unchangeable once it has been created. In order to change a timeline, a Mun must create a new marble. Think of it as a round, shiny contingent preposition of your existence.

But where do they keep all the marbles, you ask? In a jar. Think of your 'genre', your universe, as a jar filled with marbles. The jar represents the universe and its basic circumstances: location, time period, main characters. Again, every time your timeline is altered somehow, a new marble is created to go in the jar. Marbles all co-exist, and there is unlimited space for them.

And then, we have a box. The box serves the same general purpose as a jar, but works to better organize the vast amounts of information the Muns are working with. The box is an even more general method of organization, and is usually only defined by basic themes such as "Victorian time-period" or "Wizarding World".

Does anyone have any questions?

...

ANYONE?

You know, don't think I don't notice that a bunch of you don't have me friended. I'll forgive you, Marisa, Sirius, Remus, and Nara for your folly, because you guys don't have LJs (that I *know* of). But you muns- it's unforgivable. I won't be ignored. There is going to be some majorly pertinent stuff on here, in this meta-journal of mine, and you will be sad and unhip if you don't read it.

i would swallow my pride
i would choke on the rinds
but the lack thereof would leave me empty inside
i would swallow my doubt
turn it inside out
find nothing but faith in nothing
want to put my tender heart in a blender
watch it spin around to a beautiful oblivion
rendezvous then i’m through with you

i burn burn like a wicker cabinet, chalk white and oh so frail
i see our time had gotten stale
the tick tock of the clock is painful
all sane and logical
i want to tear it off the wall

i hear words and clips and phrases
i think sick like ginger ale
my stomach turns and i exhale

i alone am the one you don’t know you need
take heed feed your ego
make me blind when your eyes close
sink when you get close
tie me to the bedpost

i alone am the one you don’t know you need
you don’t know you need me

I wish I could just cut myself...

...off from the way I'm feeling right now without the use of heavy narcotics or stimulants. I bet you thought I was gonna say I wish I could just cut myself. Well, I may be posting sad lyrics to my LJ (Eve 6 lyrics, no less) but I don't think I'm quite there yet.

There is one thing in life that makes me kinda happy, though: Bono bought Lara Croft. I know it's really old news to anyone paying attention to the debut of the Xbox 360, but I'm not one of those people. I think it's absolutely random that Bono has any interest in Eidos whatsoever. Next thing you know Lara's missions are going to be like:

Guy with a Suitcase and Cellphone: Miss Croft?
Lara: Yes?
GwS&C: There's a problem... it's Africa...
Lara: Third-world debt, eh? Ship my motorbike to Zimbabwe, Winston- I've got a plane to catch!
*short film sequence where Lara dons large blue sunglasses, jet-sets to Africa with cute but minimal luggage (containing 8 different varieties of firearms) while "Love and Peace Or Else" plays in the background*

It's going to be pretty fucking fantastic. I hope Lara sports the new U2 iPod. I have a feeling those rock and rollers don't roll around in big enough bills.

Just as a note, you know the world really hates you when PENNY-ARCADE.COM is down today! WTF! Don't they know I need them now more than ever! That was going to be my morning! Penny Arcade, you let me down.

:(

So, I made this journal a really long time ago, and I thought I'd use it all the time. I was wrong.

My mun made it prettier, I guess. Though I really wanted a Penny Arcade layout, I couldn't decide on a strip so we went with the brilliant-mad-scientist thing instead.

I don't even know why I made this now. I feel so stupid. No one else (read: real people [-Steph]) has one of these things. I guess I should just keep it around and see if anything happens.

It's summer. I'm glad. My piano lessons have been getting longer but not as frequent. I want to go to the beach and eat a ton of junk food and swim and take naps on blankets in my shorts, with no shoes on. It was a hard year (not difficult, just tons of schoolwork, preparing us for next year I guess) and this summer needs to be awesome. I'd just be happy if I got to do a lot of nothing.

I want to catch up on my videogames. I think my PS might leave me if I don't pay attention to her.

Okay, well, I gotta go. I really don't even know who I'm talking to here.

ETA: I need to upload my Gabe mood set, dammit. :{

testing.